Feedback is necessary & it doesn't have to be painful
We can do better.
So many of us are bad at giving and receiving feedback.
No doubt, it can be awkward. But feedback is an important avenue for growth, so we need to keep trying.
I promise there are ways to make it easier to both give and receive.
Here are my feedback best practices
Frame it as a perception, not an objective truth
Give it early & in private
Be direct, specific, & kind
Allow for discussion
Follow-up as needed
I’ll explain more.
Frame feedback as a perception, not an objective truth
Feedback is an observation from one person’s point of view. It cannot be the whole story.
When I am giving someone feedback, I frame it as a perception we need to consider and address. We need to decide if we are going to take the feedback and change something because of it or are we going to address the perception instead. We may even decide to leave it alone entirely.
The important thing is that it’s a conscious choice.
Just because you received feedback about something, doesn’t mean you have to change. You get to decide what to do with that feedback.
Give feedback early & in private
Do not let feedback fester. It will only get worse and harder to address over time.
The best thing you can do for someone is to address feedback right away and in a private setting. It is never appropriate to call someone out to give feedback in front of a group of people.
Set aside 1:1 time to talk through feedback.
Be direct, specific, & kind
I am not a fan of the feedback sandwich. Compliment - Feedback - Compliment
I think the feedback gets lost and we don’t often get the point across. In my experience, it’s better to be direct, specific, and kind.
Give the feedback from your point of view. Use “I” statements like “I observed…” or say things like “Tell me more about this situation, I want to understand…”
Use specific examples as much as possible to support the feedback. This helps provide context and understanding.
Remember, it’s kind to be clear with people. We want people to grow and succeed, and giving direct, specific feedback is an important piece of growth.
Allow for discussion
After giving feedback, there should always be a chance for discussion. To hear from the receiver’s point of view.
Again, feedback is not the objective truth. Their POV is important and may provide context that no one had considered.
From that discussion, you should decide on how the feedback will be addressed. Are any changes needed? What’s the action plan? What follow-ups are needed?
Follow-up as needed
Feedback should be an ongoing discussion, not a one-and-done thing. Allowing for an open dialogue is key to growth, and both parties should feel confident in following up as needed.
Sounds easy, right?
It’s not. It takes courage, humility, and practice.
But I believe if we all got better and both giving and receiving feedback, we’d make progress a lot more quickly!